Monday, October 29, 2007

Maskara

Ah, Holloween na naman...

Sa aking pagto-toy hunt sa Megamall nagulat ako sa dami ng mga nakadisplay na mga maskara at accessories na pang-halloween. Grabe, nagmimistulang karnibal ang paligid sa dami ng mga nilalabas na makukulay na display. Sa isang iglap akala mo Pasko na pero kung titignan mong maigi puro bungo, aswang at halimaw ang lalantad sa iyo.

Ayos, pagkakaperahan na naman ang mga batang nais bumili ng maskara. Pero pansin ko habang tayo'y nagiging modernisado sumusunod din ang pagbabago ng mga bagay na kinakatakutan natin. Tumambad sa akin ang rack ng mga maskarang ito:

Ayos. Kahit hi-tech na ang lahat takot pa rin tayo sa aswang, halimaw at mga zombies. Pero kung titignan nyo ng mabuti ang picture parang merong maskarang naiiba:

Ano ito! Kabilang na si Bin Laden sa mga aswang at lamang lupang naghahasik ng lagim tuwing sasapit ang dilim. Yan ang dala ng modernisasyon.

Para mas epektib ang maskarang ito sabayan mo ng pagdala ng AK-47. Pero kung gusto mong taguan ka ng mga tao isuot mo ang maskarang ito at magdala ng scooter. Tiyak na magkukubli sila sa iyo. Hindi dahil sa takot kundi magmimistulang lahat sila may utang sa iyo!
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Monday, October 22, 2007

Nanaca Crash

Zubaaaaaaan!

Nanaca Crash!! (actually spelled NANACA†CRASH!!) is an online spin-off game featuring characters from Cross Channel, an eroge (a Japanese video or computer game that features erotic content, usually in the form of anime-style artwork) for the Windows and PlayStation 2 platforms. You can view the Wikipedia article for Cross Channel here.


The object of the game is to click, hold and release the mouse button to determine the angle and velocity of Nanaca crashing her bicycle towards Taichi, sending him flying across the screen. Your score is determined by the distance of his flight. Certain characters he crashes into will greatly affect his velocity. Landing into girls gives you different "Boosts" that can add to your velocity and sometimes trigger "Specials" at certain conditions. While in their "Special" state, the mouse button should be clicked to activate the special boost (and a cool animation). Not doing would cause the cancellation of the special state and just the boost of the character Taichi landed on would be activated. For best results, click the mouse button otherwise within 0.7 seconds to get a super boost. Also, there are two guys you can land on: one could change your angle (Angle Up or Angle Down) while the other guy slows you down.

Summoning Nanaca (clicking the mouse button anywhere in the game screen) to produce "Aerials" could be done between a height of 3-10 meters which is basically when Taichi is above the trees but not too high that the red arrow pointing up appears. Red aerials are possible when Taichi's falling. Clicking the mouse button gives him an upward boost. You can use this up to three times. Useful if you want to avoid running into a certain person like Misato Miyasumi (girl with glasses, the game would be over when Taichi lands on and hugs her). Blue aerials, on the other hand, are possible on the way up. Clicking the mouse button gives you a boost downward. Unlike the Red aerials, the Blue ones are “rechargeable” and you have to wait until it recharges back to 100% for each use. Useful if you want to hit someone that can boost you further.

So, if hitting other people with your bicycle is your thing, go on and check out Nanaca Crash here.

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Desktop Tower Defense

Look away if you value for lives and your jobs...

Whatever you do, don't click on the link and start playing the game. This game is responsible for us losing a week's worth load of work due to its very simple and addictive gameplay. Again, be warned. We were practically going to work just to play this game. We were spending more time discussing about the different strategies and map layouts rather than focusing on our work deliveries and deadlines. I think we had gone overboard when each of us received emailed memos warning us about “playing too much”. Whew! We almost lost our jobs due to this wonderful Flash game.

Desktop Tower Defense illustrates that you don’t need fancy graphics or big budgets to build highly addictive online games. In Desktop Tower Defense, all of the main graphics are hand drawn. Unlike some other Flash based games in the web this game is free and is very simple to pick up. Also, this game employs a lot of strategizing and resource management. Numerous modes, difficulty levels, and maps are just some of the game’s features which give a big boost to its replayablity factor.

The rules of the game are simple. You start with an empty map as “creeps” enters from the left and/or the top. These creeps find their way to the different exits that are opposite to where they had entered. Initially, you start with a set number of lives (about 20) and these get diminished when a creep would exit the map. Each wave of creeps have their own special abilities and it is the player’s goal to build different towers with also their own abilities to shoot, damage, and sometimes hinder the creeps on their way out. Also, the layout of the towers should not block the path of the creeps to their respective exits. Towers could be bought, sold and upgraded for an amount of money which could be earned for every creep killed. It is the objective of the player to handle all the creep waves as they get harder and tougher without exhausting all the life points. Good “mapping”, “path building”, and strategic placements of the towers is important to maximize every tower’s use.

The creator of this ludicrously addictive Desktop Tower Defense game is apparently making close to $10,000 a month from Google ads. The game’s creator, Paul Preece, a Visual Basic programmer having no professional experience with game development, is now making, by his estimate, high four figures monthly for his ferociously viral little game. In the span of a few months, the game has become extremely popular, having been played over 15 million times as of July 2007. The game was among one of Webware 100's top ten entertainment web applications of 2007.

Desktop Tower Defense is already on its 1.5 release which features new towers, modes and creep types. If you have nothing to do, or just wish to be fired immediately from your job, check out the game at www.handdrawngames.com/DesktopTD.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you…
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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Iron Man The Movie Trailer

At last, Iron Man would get his very own big screen adaptation.

Robert Downey Jr. had been casted to play Tony Stark/ Iron Man, a billionaire industrialist and ingenious inventor who develops the ultimate technological suit. Other cast members include Gwyneth Paltrow as Virginia “Pepper” Potts, Stark’s personal secretary; Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane/ Iron Monger, Stark’s mentor and business rival; Terrence Howard as James Rhodes, Stark’s bestfriend who would unlikely be War Machine in (keeping our fingers crossed) the following Iron Man movie sequels; and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Fans of the The Ultimates comic books know that Nick Fury’s appearance in the series is based upon the features of Samuel L. Jackson.

Iron Man’s director, Jon Favreau (Zathura, Elf), originally planned to cast a newcomer in the role, but cast Downey Jr., who is a big fan of the comic book. Downey Jr. described his challenge as "making a wealthy, establishmentarian, weapons manufacturing, hard drinking, womanizing prick into someone who is likable and a hero". His co-star Paltrow, on the other hand, went straight to the source material, reading many comic books lent by her husband, Chris Martin, for the preparation for her role.

As with every Marvel movie made, it is reported that Iron Man’s co-creator, Stan Lee, would make another cameo appearance in the movie “where he appears with three blonde women and is mistaken for Hugh Hefner by Tony Stark”.

Favreau announced the Mandarin as the film's villain at Comic-Con International, When asked about the Mandarin, Favreau compared the Mandarin to Sauron in The Lord of the Rings, in that his role is a presence rather than a physical antagonist. He also said that the first film's plot would not deal with Tony Stark's personal problems, such as alcoholism. Favreau noted that if there were sequels, Tony Stark's personal problems would be explored. Favreau plans Iron Man to be the first in a trilogy, with all the actors signed on. Favreau has also stated he would like to develop the Mandarin into a physical threat, or use Fin Fang Foom if he could fit the tone of the films.

About the armor, Favreau confirmed "The suit will be more like a weapons platform than a flying suit – more of a War Machine-feel to it. Favreau stated he wanted the film to feel believable, and key to this was seeing the full construction of the suit in its three stages.

The Iron Man suit showcased in the film was inspired by Iron Man comic book artist Adi Granov (Tales of Suspense Commemorative Edition: Captain America and Iron Man, Iron Man vol. 4). He created the suit design with Phil Saunders, which was built by Stan Winston Studios. Granov's designs were the primary inspiration for the film's design.

The film is slated for a May 2, 2008 release, and is the first film independently produced by Marvel Studios. You can view Wikipedia’s article about this upcoming movie here. Also, for updates and release dates you can check out the official Iron Man movie website at http://www.ironmanmovie.com/.

Below, you can watch the official movie trailer. Here's hoping this movie wouldn’t suck like X-Men 3…

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Wannabe Wannabees



Copied this video from Kat's website: 32Flavors and Some Untasted Ones. Hehehe... Enjoy!

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The Inday Phenomenon (Part 2)

Pucha! Grabe na pala kasikatan ni Inday.

Multiple blogs had already started posting their own share of accumulated Inday jokes. Surprisingly, Conrado de Quiros, a columnist of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, wrote an article about the popularity of Inday. It is amazing to see a man of his caliber write a topic about something as simple as a chain of text jokes promulgated by people who just don’t want to waste their precious unlimited text plan. Truly the Inday jokes are not just a passing fad but a phenomenon. You can view the article of Conrado de Quiros entitled “O Inday” in his column “There's The Rub” here.

It seems that Inday started a blog of her own. Blog Ni Inday offers new Inday jokes updated daily. Jokes had been arranged by categories (See the Assemblage section) for the reader’s convenience. You can also check Inday’s Biodata and comments from her “Amo”. According to him “the site’s sole purpose is to gather and share the numerous Inday jokes and manuscripts scattered all over the SMS and Internet world.”

Shockingly, as of this writing, this blog was thrusted in the Top 10 English Blogs at Wordpress in just a few weeks time. Here’s hoping to someday see a movie or TV show about everybody’s favorite househelp…

… and perhaps a Tagalog-English Dictionary named after her.
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Friday, October 05, 2007

The Inday Phenomenon

Inday…

Basta narinig mo ang salitang “Inday” kaagad-agad kang makakaisip ng isang katulong walang kaalam-alam sa buhay, walang pinag-aralan, at pinanganak lamang para utus-utusan at paglingkuran ang kaniyang mga amo. Makakaisip tayo ng isang alilang walang tigil na pinagtatrabaho habang ang kaniyang mga pinagsisilbihan ay puro lamang pasarap sa buhay ang inaatupag. At minsa’y hindi maaalis sa isipan natin ang imaheng inaabuso siya habang walang kalaban-labang sumisigaw ng “Koya! Wag po! Wag po!...

Bobo. Patapon. Gamitan.

Ganyan kababa ang tingin natin kay Inday…

Dati.

Ngayon, pag sinabi mong “Inday” makakaisip ka ng isang babaeng sopistikada, sosyal, matalino at palaban. Basta meron kang maririnig na nag ingles sasabihan nating “Uy! Parang si Inday lang ah!”. “Paturo na lang tayo kay Inday” ang maririnig mo naman pag nahihirapan ang isang taong magpahayag ng kaniyang saloobin.

Ngayon ok nang maging isang “Inday. Pero sino ang nagpasimuno sa pagbabago ng stereotypical na pananaw sa ating mga kasambahay?

Pasalamat tayo sa mga adik magtext.

Siguro naman kahit papaano nakatanggap na kayo ng mga text jokes tungkol sa iba’t-ibang pakikipagsapalaran ni Inday gamit ang kaniyang secret weapon… ang kaniyang angking katalinuhan sa paggamit ng Ingles. Siguro naman sumakit din tyan niyo sa kakatawa at naubusan din kayo ng dugo sa kano-nosebleed habang binabasa ang mga malulupit na banat ni Inday sa kaniyang mga kasambahay, pamilya, boyfriend, at kung sinu-sino pang naeenkwentro niya.

Hindi ko alam kung saan, papaano, at sino ang nagsimula ng text series na nito. Alam kong natanggap ko ang pinakaunang Inday joke after the Chorvalyn/Ederlyn Series at ang Famous Quotes Series. Ang mga seryeng ito ay nagpapatunay sa angking kakayahan ng mga Plipino na gumawa at maki-ride on sa iba’t-ibang uri ng pagpapatawa kahit maraming hinaharap na problema. Basta kung sino ka mang nagsimula nito… Kudos!

Below is a compilation of all the Inday Jokes that I received and read from Text Messages, E-Mails, and other Blogsites. Oo nga pala, special thanks to Kat at 32Flavors and Some Untasted Ones. You can check her own compilation of Inday jokes here. Pasalamat din kay Ryman ng Eternalmoonlight.net. Lahat ng Inday jokes nya ay sinama ko dito. Makikita nyo ang kaniyang mga Inday jokes dito.

Ok na? Ihanda niyo na ang mga tissue ninyo para sa nosebleed…

Basa.

INDAY AT WORK

AMO: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?

INDAY: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

AMO: (nosebleed)

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AMO: Inday, ano ginawa mo sa microwave natin at sumabog?

INDAY: Success is often the result of taking misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.

AMO: Impostora! Lumayas ka dito!

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"What separates men from animals is his ability to talk and express his feelings. History has told us to fight when our right to communicate and self-expression is suppressed. If you don’t like what I say, the way I say it, or the manner I do it, I apologize. But don’t hinder me from practicing my inherent right."

- Sagot ni Inday ng mahuling nakikipagchismisan sa kapitbahay.

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"Much as I would want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society’s perception of our profession. We are not here to thrive on humor but rather, we should engage in objective and top of the line service to our designated employers."

- Inday tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay. Professionalism at its best!

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"Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. Do it everyday. This is one of the most obvious qualities of the most beloved people. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words."

- Yan ang sabi ni Inday ng di siya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo niya.

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"Listening to the nonsense talk about someone’s life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn’t contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators!”

- Reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay.

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AMO: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. Oo nga pla inglesira ka. Would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?

INDAY: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traversed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaah. by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng". Am I correct?

AMO: Leche!

INDAY: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!

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"La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?

- Si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España.

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"Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness."

- Sagot ni Inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior.

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AMO: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!

INDAY: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

AMO: (Di nakareact)

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AMO: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!

INDAY: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

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AMO: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?

INDAY: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

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AMO: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

INDAY: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!

AMO: ADIK ka talaga Inday!

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“You’ll never know what u have till it’s gone… And once you loose it, you can never get it back….”

- Si Inday nung nasnatchan sa Quiapo.

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“Did it ever occur to you that the ultraviolet rays of the idiot box can bring harmful radiation to the retinal area? It could lead to blurred vision, worse, permanent blindness?”

- Pinagalitan ni Inday si junior sa sobrang lapit manood ng "Kokey".

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“Dear Sir/Madam,

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices.

Note: However that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis.”

- Si Inday, nagpapaalam mamalengke.

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"Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode... Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."

- Si Inday, nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siyang isama sa Enchanted Kingdom.

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"Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce, Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil, Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests"

- Baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday.

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"Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"

- Reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia.

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"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessened the production in the market."

- Banat ni Inday kung bakit walang "kangkong" sa nilutong sinigang.

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"Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the "oriza sativa" which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste."

- Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.

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"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!"

- Si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate. (Taray talaga ni Inday!).

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"Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession..."

- Si Inday, tumangging makipag-tsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay.

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"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of Sodium Chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize."

- Nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

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"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"

- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.

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"Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!"

- Si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.

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JEEPNEY DRIVER: Hoy! bakit says lang ang Banayat mo?! Siyete na ang pamasahe ngayon!

INDAY: I am currently enrolled in a two-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix.

DRIVER: (nosebleed)

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AMO: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

INDAY: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

AMO: (nosebleed)

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AMO: Inday, nganu gipasagdan man nimo si Junior nga pirti man ning tsabaw?

INDAY: Sir, according to Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of growth and development, toddlers normally exhibit temper tantrums to express emotions such as anxiety. And the best intervention is to ignore the situation. However, one should provide safety to avoid danger during their tantrums.

AMO: Pag churoi!

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AMO: Inday, bakit kulang ang sukli na ibinigay mo?

INDAY: Hmmm… The person from the selling entity might have experienced memory deficiency due to the difficulty in concentrating and that lack of concentration lead to forgetfulness in giving the excess monetary equivalent due from the purchased item.

AMO: I think I’m gonna faint! (nagulat sa sariling pagiingles… tuluyang nahimatay)

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AMO: Inday ano ulam natin? Darating na sir mo.

INDAY: Due to the infrequent mass media coverage around hog cholera, I’d consequently given a judgment on sautéing exquisite scallops in unsalted butter together w/ pungent white onion & tossed it w/ brisk asparagus. I’d also assented to twist it w/ fresh lemon zest & advance its taste via blending a petty amount of chardonnay white wine as well as a cup of viscous cream.

AMO: (napatumbling)

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P 500 : Sun Plan Subscription
P 1800 : Glutathione 30 capsules
P 600 : Olay Total Effects
P 1500 : Crocs flip flops
P 2000 : For mama

- Binudget ni Inday ang sweldo niya.

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"The economy itself is not holding it's ground, this caused a ripple-effect which increased the value of most market products, thus, given the amount of monetary value you have provided me with versus the amount of increase on the goods on this list you have given me - this equates to the reduction of the volume of household items I was able to acquire."

- Dahilan ni Inday kung bakit hindi siya nakabili ng asukal.

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“It is in mistakes that we learn how to grow to be better individuals. You may judge me for what you see but it is not my mistakes that determine who I am but it is what I do to make it right.”

- Sabi ni Inday nung nakabasag sya ng pinggan.

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AMO: Inday, bakit ang flawless mo? Ano ba ginagamit mo? Papaya? Kalamansi..?

INDAY: Huh? Only Belo touches my skin. Who touches yours?

AMO: (hinimatay)

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AMO: (Overnight, inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday) So Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion??

INDAY: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

AMO: What??!! (dumudugo na ilong)

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"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse that one cigarette.”

- Sagot ni Inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French Fries.

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AMO: Inday, paki-abot nga ‘yung ketchup…

INDAY: While it can hardly be considered a health food, ketchup has been found to be a beneficial source of lycopene, an antioxidant which fights some forms of cancer. This is particularly true of the organic brands of ketchup. In fact, organic brands were found to contain three times as much lycopene as non-organic brands. Ketchup, much like marinara sauce and other cooked tomato foods, yields higher levels of lycopene per serving because cooking makes lycopene in tomatoes more bio-available.

AMO: Gaga!

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Sa Isang Restaurant:

WAITER: Ano po order nila ma'am?

AMO: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sa iyo?

INDAY: I would like to partake of a dish of sautéed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amount of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

AMO: Iho, paorder daw ng Adobo with Rice.

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“How dare you to insinuate such intolerable act of abusing our nature from a mere scrap of humanity such as you. If you further insist, I’ll be forced to use my mental and physical capabilities just to pulverize you!”

- Litanya ni Inday nung may nagtapon ng balat ng kendi sa tapat ng bahay ng amo nya.

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1. rendezvous
2. tête-à-tête
3. renaissance
4. buoyancy
5. queue
6. squeamish
7. impenetrable
8. dachshund
9. brochure
10. brassiere

- Inday habang tinuturuan ang 8-yr old na alaga matuto sa spelling.

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“The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long lasting oil free skin.”

- Paliwanag ni Inday habang nagpapahid ng Chin-chan-su.

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“Guess what? Those not-so stunning guys keeps on staring at my newly manicured nails while the copy-cat freaks envy my stylishly cut mane. Unfortunately after a great day at the spa, I have to step on this muddy and stinking place just to purchase some veggies!”

- Si Inday, nakikipagtsikahan sa tindera sa palengke.

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AMO: Inday, hindi mo ba natanggap text ko? Tinext kita sabi ko bumili ka na rin ng giniling. Selpon selpon ka pa di naman nakakareceive ng text.

INDAY: It’s not that I can’t receive any messages, it’s just that I was at a place with a weak cellular signal. You see, even though longer wavelengths have the advantage of being able to diffract to a greater degree and are less reliant on line of sight to obtain a good signal, it can still attenuate significantly. And because the frequencies which cell phones use are too high to reflect off the ionosphere as shortwave radio waves do, cell phone waves cannot travel via the ionosphere.

AMO: Pa-ayono-ayonospir ka pang nalalaman. Magsaing ka na nga bago dumugo na naman ilong ko.

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AMO: Inday, ba’t sinisipon si Junior?

INDAY: He came in direct contact from surfaces contaminated with rhinoviruses which entered the cells of the lining of his nasopharynx which in turn rapidly multiplied. Thus, giving him a viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory system called acute viral nasopharyngitis.

AMO: (nosebleed sabay nataranta) What??! Tumawag ka ng ambulansya! bilis!

INDAY: Haaay, you’re so ignorant. As if you have not been afflicted with the common cold in the course of your existence.

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"Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."

- Sabi ni Inday sa amo nung humingi siya ng dayoff.

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"Slap the face of that crazy B*tch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devil! I damn hate her! Duh!"

- Inday, watching "Marimar".

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CONSUL: Why do you want to go to the US?

AMO: To travel to visit friends and fly the airplane.

CONSUL: Denied! And you?

INDAY: For life is a never-ending pursuit of material and social satisfaction that I tender my great intent of actualizing a transpacific journey to the land of milk and honey. An affable sanctuary where dreams become reality and a perfect habitat where souls like mine can reach the pedestal of freedom.

CONSUL: Lifetime multiple entry VISA granted!

AMO: Whaaat!!!

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"The amount of lust inside a man's head can only be contained with self-control, once that control has been broken, all sanity would have been drained as well...sexual urge i believe is inevitable given the tension arising each and everyday. I can only wonder how things would go the next few days"

- Eto yung nasa isip ni Inday pagkatapos siya gapangin ni "Kuya"

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“I understand that sexual urge is most of the time uncontrollable since a lot of factors contribute for it to be triggered. This is also the reason why some men are found to be polygamous and engage themselves in sexual acts even with someone who’s a total stranger to them..”

– Ito sinabi ni Inday sa sarili nya pagkatapos sya uli gapangin ni “Kuya”.

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"I’m still a human being, attracted to anyone my heart beats on, and I have my limitations in controlling my feelings. I have to push myself into not loving him. This is so wrong…"

- Si Inday na-inlove sa amo. Ibang level na talaga…

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“Dear Ma'am/Sir:

I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company.

Yours truly,
Inday”

- Resignation letter ni Inday.

“Dear Inday,

I’m sorry to inform you that your resignation was denied by the upper management due to your contract of 5 years or make love with the amo clause. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Yours truly,
Ma’am”

- Sagot ni Ma'm.

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AMO: Mula ngayon, wala nang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ‘to. Klaro ba?

INDAY: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkolooban.

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PERSONAL INFORMATION:

NAME: Inocencia Binayubay

NICKNAME: Inday

AGE: 18

PARENTS: Mang Andoy at Aling Seling

SIBLINGS: Iying – 13, Itoy – 8, Iking - 5

EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT

College: La Salle Zobel 2nd year (Scholar)

High School: P. Gomez High School (Valedictorian, Best in English)

Elem: Sta. Monica Elem School (Valedictorian, best in dancing)

WORK EXPERIENCE: Household service manager (katulong) – Mr. and Mrs. Matapobre

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DIED: Sept. 1, 2007

CAUSE OF DEATH: Asphyxia due to strangulation (namatay sa sakal ng amo!)

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INDAY: Are you certain that you want to transfer me back to earth?

ST. PETER: Oo! Langya ka! Mano-nose bleed lang yung mga kaluluwa dito! Dun ka na uli magkalat sa lupa!

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"Whoever may have caused my death via text message will be answerable in the eyes of men. Untruthful, unmindful and unfounded heresy is tantamount to unjust vexation punishable by law. This will serve as a stern warning that any wrongful messages subjecting my untimely and early demise would be dealt with accordingly in any court of law of this land."

- Inday, nagagalit sa nagtsismis na patay na siya.

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INDAY IN LOVE

"To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."

- Reply ni Inday nang i-text ni Dodong kung pwede sya maging textmate.

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"We look for love not because it's lonely to be watching movies alone... sad to eat meals on your own... or.. because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days. We look for love because we want to be accepted.. for the sloppy way we dress... for the clumsy way we eat our meals... for bad hair days and for the simplicity in us."

- Pinagiisipan ni Inday kung sasagutin nya si Dodong na dead na dead sa beauty niya.

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"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."

- Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya.

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“Hell is a place with big houses, luxurious cars, grate tasting dishes and nonstop parties.

And Heaven?

It’s only a small room with nothing in it… but YOU…. “

- Message ni Inday para kay Dodong sa kanilang 1st Monthsary.

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“There are tulips in the street, there are tulips in the park. But nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark”

- Pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday.

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“If the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their ages and academic levels, this only lends substance to the truism that the heart has reasons for its own which reason does not know.”

- Iyan naman ang sagot ni Inday sa ina ni Dodong na tutol sa kanilang pagmamahalan.

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INDAY: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

DODONG: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofore, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from me.

BASURERO: (Facing Inday) Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you’ve been wishing for to stay.

AMO: (Narinig ang lahat ng ito ng amo ni Inday. Hinimatay sa sobrang nosebleed! Hanggang ngayon hindi pa nagkakamalay)

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INDAY FAMILY MATTERS

"Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.

Your daughter,
Inday"

"Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Tatay"

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"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from."

- Inday, hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick.

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"I'm so sick and tired of this cruel life! In solitude I always tread this life's endless road, amidst the spooky, cold and uncertain darkness of the night. Shouting relentlessly at the top of my lungs, just to satisfy your exotic cravings."

- Kapatid ni Inday na magbabalot na depressed.

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NANAY: Day, ba’t ba ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo?

INDAY: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.

NANAY: Day, anong nakain mo? I’m perturbed by your words.

INDAY: Nay, ala namang gantihan…

– Noong bata si Inday.

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INDAY SHOWBIZ

EDERLYN: Ikaw ba ang Inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako’y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka!

INDAY: My apologies, but the fact is, your glory days is over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves! Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday’s intellect.. B*tch!

- Nag-away na sina Ederlyn at Inday. Kayo kasi eh!

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“We need to give due respect and the presumption of regularity to the verdict laid down against the former President. But guilty or not guilty he will still be loved by people like me, people belonging to the masses.”

- Sagot ni Inday sa interview ng CNN sa kanya sa kaso ni Erap.

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BOY ABUNDA: Inday, isang tanong. Diretsahan tayo. Bakit ba mukhang ang lawak ng iyong pinag-aralan sa iba’t ibang larangan ng sining at teknolohiya? Ano ang nagsilbing inspirasyon sa iyo para gawin ito?

INDAY: Boy, don’t you know how to count? Nevermind… to paraphrase Hayek, exclusive concentration on a specialty has a peculiarly baneful effect: it will not merely prevent us from being attractive company or good citizens but may impair our competence in our proper field.

BOY: Ahhh… (sabay kamot sa ulo)

KRIS: Boy, pinapahiya mo naman ang show eh. Ganito dapat. Inday, what Boy meant was what made you decide to pursue the knowledge of different academic uhh … ahh subjects?

INDAY: Kris my dear, it’s either you’re not satisfied with my previous answer or simply did not understand it. I’ll just assume the latter. You see, these are all simply my abiding interests and all these tributaries flow into the same river. The thought of one’s research going into ever decreasing, derivative and infertile circles, just depresses me. Getz?

BOY AND KRIS: (sabay nag-nosebleed at nagtawag ng commercial break)

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RL: She is now becoming one of the fastest rising Internet stars today amassing a number of followers all over the world mostly Filipinos . Already surpassing Ederlyn, Yuga, the Numa Numa boy, the Chinese Backstreet Boys and even Casey and her cam.

Inday is getting a lot of popularity today mostly from word of mouth, SMS and e-mails. Her witty comments regarding her life as a domestic helper has already brought laughter and uncontrollable nosebleeds to us.

Inday, thank you for accepting this interview, how are you feeling right now?

INDAY: You might expect me to be flabbergasted or nervous with all the attention I’m getting right now. Actually, I’m not. I know from that very first text message that this is going to be inevitable. Even now the media is already interested in my fame that they sent you to interview me thinking that you can comprehend each and every word that I say.

RL: (nagpunas ng ilong) Uhmm, ahh I see… so with all your uhh academic credentials, what made you decide just to be a domestic helper?

INDAY: Well, what do you expect me to be? A lawyer? A politician? A newscaster? Oh come on, you’re all so predictable. Have you met a domestic helper that has a medical degree, is a world-class culinary artist, has a degree in Business Management, a certified public accountant and consistent Best in English for four years in high school?

RL: Uhhm, ahh I guess not.

INDAY: Well there you go. That’s what sets me apart and makes me unique from all the rest and I guess it’s something that you just can’t fathom.

RL: (tuluyan nang nag-nosebleed)

INDAY: I guess this is the end of this interview. I still have to prepare our evening victuals and update my blog. Tatah! Hi nga pala to my love, Dodong! I love you babes.

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“It does not matter if you are the wife, or you’re the mistress. What matters is you showed your love, you experienced the joys and pain in loving. Coz from there, you’ll learn… that loving is not always easy.”

- Movie review ni Inday sa “A Love Story”! Bongga!

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PAHABOL

"todilip todilip. todilip todilip..."

- Susan, katulong sa kapitbahay nina Inday, kumakanta ng Irreplaceable.

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Please pray for the quick recovery of Inday. She’s currently in the ICU because of excessive nose bleeding, which she had while accompanying Junior in his school’s Linggo Ng Wika Celebration. Please pass this to all whose lives, like mine, have been touched by Inday. Please pray for the quick recovery of Inday.
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